


Inconvenient Love

by Auriolus_angelus



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Charity is an angel, Circus, I'm Bad At Tagging, These guys are hopless, post fire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 19:50:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15372063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auriolus_angelus/pseuds/Auriolus_angelus
Summary: P.T. Barnum had always loved his wife. Charity had been his everything since the moment he laid eyes on her all those years ago.  There was no doubt in his mind that he still loved her with all his heart,but ever since Phillip Carlyle joined the circus Phineas cant deny that he feels something more for the man then he should.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this on wattpad and decided to post it on here as well.I update whenever I can and hope you like it. If you do comment and let me know I appreciate feedback and if you don't like it comment and let me know so I can improve. I feel like this sounds kind of stiff, but oh well.

After the fire Phineas was sure that the circus was ruined, but it was the least of his concerns. If he was being honest he'd never put on another show again if it meant that Phillip would recover. Night after night he'd sit next to Phillip's lifeless body in the hospital and fear that he'd never come back to him. There were times when he thought he'd never see that radiant smile and those baby blues widen with wonder ever again. When he woke Phineas never left him out of his sight. Without realizing it Phillip had become Phineas' world. "Phin what are you doing we have a show in little less than an hour!" Phineas was pulled out of his thoughts by Phillip shouting at him from across the ring. It's been four months since the fire and thanks to Phillip's generous contribution the circus is up and running again. "Right, sorry I was just thinking about whether that light should be moved a centimeter to left or the right." he lied quickly. Phillip cast him a bemused look ,but said nothing more.  
This would be the first show they've put on since the fire. Phineas missed the lights, the music, and the applause. He not only loved when the audience applauded him; he craved it. All he's ever wanted was for people to appreciate the magic that is the circus and even now after everything that has happened the audience still roars at the end of the show. Phineas raises his head and locks eyes with Phillip. Phineas can't help but wonder how long Phillip has been watching him.The lights begin to dim and the show comes to a close, but Phillip continues to observe Phineas as if he was still in the center of the ring performing."Like what you see." the ringmaster teases. "Ha yeah right old man." he quips back. It's moments like these that make Phineas want to be closer to Phillip, but he could never voice these thoughts so he just smile at  Phillip. He makes his way over to where Phillip is standing."All joking aside you were terrific tonight Phin. The audience was in awe." Phineas gives him a cheeky grin and spins once with his arms spread out."Thanks Phil, but what did you expect this is the greatest show on earth after all." Phillip rolls his eyes. "Why can't you just take the compliment." Phineas, being as eccentric as always, bows to him and says"Mr. Carlyle I humbly accept your praise its truly an honor to be recognized by someone of your caliber." Phillip begins to chuckle and shoves the older man lightly. "God you're an ass sometimes Barnum." Phineas simply shrugs and replies "I am what I am." Phillip starts to laugh again. Phineas looks over and spots Charity standing by the entrance watching the two of them with an amused look on her face. "Well there's Charity. I'll see you tomorrow Phil." "Sure tell the girls I said Hello." he waves and walks away. Phineas quickly strides over to where Charity is standing. "It's good to see everything back to normal."she remarks warmly "It sure is." hes say while planting a kiss to the top of her head. "Lets get home I'm exhausted."  
As Phineas is getting into the carriage he cast one more look at the circus and watches as Phillip walks out laughing arm in arm with Anne. He's not entirely sure why he feels a sudden pang in his chest at the sight of the two together. Phillip is his partner and friend so he should be happy he's found someone to be with. Phineas decides to ignore these strange feelings and turns his attention away from Anne and Phillip. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Phineas are you alright?" Charity's face is full of concern as she watches her husband snap out of his thoughts.   
     "Hmm yes I'm fine dear tired is all." Charity is a smart woman she always has been and she knows it's more than fatigue that plagues her husband, but for now she lets it be. She knows he'll come to her when he's ready. The carriage pulls into the Barnum's lavish residence. To Phineas it's always been beautiful even when it was rundown and abandoned. He opens the door and immediately hears his daughters chanting in unison,"Daddy you're home!" Caroline and Helen run to him as he bends to envelope them in crushing embrace.   
     "How are my little angels?" Phineas asks while holding them to his chest. He rises and holds their hands as they ramble on about their day and lead him into the dinning room. Phineas can smell a delicious aroma wafting in from the kitchen and is suddenly ravenous. It just occurred to him that he's been so busy with the circus putting on its first show that he had forgotten to eat lunch.   
     Phineas had been going over some paperwork shortly after dinner when he felt Charity wrap her arms around his torso. She felt warm and familiar to him. "You've been working so hard maybe you should relax for a bit."she murmured against the collar of his shirt.   
    "I can't Char there's so much to review and I want to be here this time for everybody. I want them to know that I'm not leaving them ever again."   
      "Phin everyone at the circus forgives you they don't blame you." She said trying to reassure her tense husband. Phineas sighed and turned to face her.          
     "That's just it I am to blame. If I had been there maybe the fire never would have happened and Phillip..."   
     "Hey, stop that,"Charity said as she grasped Phineas' hands. "Everything turned out alright their's no sense in fretting about what might have been. What happened happened and Phillip definitely doesn't blame you for anything."she said firmly. Charity could see the swirling emotions and turmoil behind Phineas' chocolate colored eyes. He pulled her in for a hug and held her tightly.   
     "I love you, you know you've always been my bestfriend and if you need to talk I'll always listen."she said softly. Phineas got the sudden feeling that she knew something that he didn't,but he quickly chased the feeling away and told Charity that he loved her too.   
      "I'm going to put the girls to bed promise me you'll take a break." Charity said before moving away from their embrace.   
      "I promise." Phineas said as he watched her walk away.  
     Keeping his promise to Charity Phineas decided to take a walk around the grounds. The crisp night air cleared Phineas' head. He watched the stars for some time and let his mind wander. His thoughts eventually drifted to Phillip,which wasn't uncommon. Phineas often found himself absentmindly thinking of the younger man. He thought of his conversation with Phillip  earlier that day. Phillip had the most gorgeous smile he thought,but immediately he began to feel guilty. He shouldn't think that Phillip's smile was gorgeous. He was a man for godsakes and Phineas was married what was wrong with him. This wasn't the first time that he'd thought of his partner as beautiful though and with a feeling of alarm he knew that it wouldn't be the last.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up there is some sexual content towards the end of the chapter.

Phineas,being an early riser,had woken long before the other members of the Barnum household. He'd stumbled to bed late last night after chastising himself for his thoughts about Phillip. After performing his morning routine he figured that he'd better finish his work from last night. He took one look at the stack of paper work he needed to go through and sighed. He could already tell it was going to be a long day.  
Phillip Carlyle however was not a morning person and despised the dawning sun with a burning passion. He had a pounding headache due to his severe hangover. After walking Anne home last night Phillip had gone back to his flat to sulk and drown his misery with what else,but the multiple bottles of cheap liquor that he kept on hand for the nights when the loneliness was at its heights. The memories of last night came flooding back to him. He'd spent hours that night pitying himself. God I'm pathetic he thought. He rolled onto his back and stared at the eggshell white ceiling above him. His mind was reeling with the revelations of last night. Phillip closed his eyes tightly as he admitted to himself that he was foolishly and hopelessly in love with his partner,Phineas. Phillip had been taken by the charismatic and captivating man the moment he'd introduced himself.  
Since then Phillip had repressed his feelings and attempted to ignore them by starting a relationship with Anne Wheeler. He thought that if he could just fall in with love her than he could forget about the ridiculous feelings he harbored for Phineas. And he did love her,but not in the way that she needed him to. They cared very deeply for eachother and late one night after a round of drinking Anne had attempted to turn their relationship into a  
more intimate one. It was then that Phillip broke down and confessed to her his feelings for Phineas. He had expected her to be disgusted by him, but she had understood and admitted that she had her suspicions for a while now. Phillip had been so relieved,he was sure that he was going to lose her, that he began to sob. Anne had pulled his head onto her lap and stroked his hair while whispering reassurances to him until he'd drifted off. For the first time in his life Phillip had felt loved and accepted. After that night they ended their relationship, but remained close friends.  
That morning was the first time that Phillip had been sober while admitting that he loved the older man. Guilt washed over him as he thought of Charity. He respected the woman and truly cared for her. He would never hurt her. She was at the top of a long list of reasons why he'd never tell Phineas about the way he felt. Among fear of rejection and the scorn he'd ultimately receive from his parents, not wanting to hurt Charity or the girls was the primary reason he came home and drank himself into oblivion night after night.  
Deciding that he had pitied himself long enough Phillip reluctantly forced himself out of bed and headed for the shower. He shut the bathroom door and allowed steam to fill up the tiny bathroom. Phillip's decision to join the circus had cost him his inheritance and he'd spent the majority of his savings on rebuilding the circus. What was left of his savings went to making sure he had a roof over his head and food on his plate. It was incredulous to him the amount of money he once spent on trivial items. His apartment was small, but comfortable. It was a fairly decent place overall, but most importantly it was affordable. Phillip was perfectly content with what he had though.He never regretted his decision to join the circus and knew if given the chance he'd do it again in a heart beat.  
Phillip stood unclothed in front of a full length mirror attached to the wall. Phillip ran his hands over his torso feeling the abs that resided there and watched as his reflection mirrored his actions. He closed his eyes and wished that it was Phineas' hands traveling up his chest opposed to his own and groaned. He imagined Phineas' strong hands trailing down his toned flat stomach coming to rest just above his aching erection. He'd teasingly trace the area around purposely avoiding the place Phillip wanted him to touch the most. Phillip would be so desperate for the older man to offer him release that he'd beg for his touch until Phineas would finally oblige.Phillip hadn't realized that he'd been so effected by his fantasy until he heard himself involuntarily moan. He took a deep breathe to calm himself and slowly reopened his eyes. Still standing in front of the mirror, he looked into his piercing blue eyes and saw the desire and need swimming in them.  
Now that he was no longer daydreaming Phillip was painfully aware of the real aching erection between his legs and this time Phineas wasn't there to help. He groaned once again, but this time out of frustration rather than desire. Phillip made quick work of his arousal. He braced himself agsinst the wall and pumped his erection hard and fast. It wasn't long until he came hard shouting his partner's name. I want him. I shouldn't, but I do were his thoughts as he watched the mirrorthat was now covered in his release fog up completely.  
"Ahhh!"he yelped as soon as the scalding hot water hit his skin. The hot water splashed angrily against him, each droplet of water stinging as it touched his exposed body. It burned like hell ,but he figured as long as it kept his thoughts of Phineas at bay he could deal with it. He focused on lathering his body with the soap suds and scrubbed his body furiously, letting the boiling water strip him of his impurities.


	4. Chapter 4

The second show had gone just as smoothly as the first. The illuminated circus drew in crowds of wonderstruck people eager to catch a glimpse of the magic that resided within its walls. Music permeated the air. Like blood coursing through its veins it brought the circus to life.  
     This time it was Phillip in the center of the ring dazzling the audience. Phineas and Phillip had decided to take turns assuming the role of ringmaster. Phineas watched as Phillip moved gracefully around the ring. With scrupulous eyes he appraised the younger man's appearance. Phillip's bright blue eyes were alight with exuberance. His movements were lithe and each step he took was imbued with a vast amount of fervor. Confidence radiated off the man in waves. His gleaming smile was nearly hypnotic. The entire audience,including Phineas,couldn't help,but feel his energy and smile along with him. Phillip had shone brighter than any light inside the circus that night and he'd never looked more beautiful in Phineas' eyes.   
     That was the moment that   
Phineas realized that he truly was falling for Phillip. He pushed the guilt and feelings of betrayal away. For once he didn't care about what anyone else would think because in that moment the only person he could see was Phillip.  
     After the last of the audience exited Phillip went to his and Barnum's shared office to change out of his ringmaster attire. He opened the door and slipped inside the pitch-black room. He didn't bother with the light he had the layout of the office engraved in his mind. He removed his top hat and hung it on the coat rack that he knew was to his left. Phillip's thoughts drifted as he carefully removed his ringmasters coat. Phillip was always cautious when handling his circus garments not just because he knew that Phineas had paid a fortune for them to be hand crafted and they were made with the finest material available,but because when he shrugged on that coat he was able to forget about all his troubles and worry about one thing,making people smile. Thats all Phillip has ever wanted. Making people smile was part of the reason he had agreed to join the circus. He had gone to see a show two weeks prior to when Barnum asked him to join him for a drink. He had disguised himself as a lower class man so he wouldn't be recognized by anyone. If his father had found out the outcome would not have been pleasant. His father was convinced that the circus was 'filled with barbaric and uncultured heathens and only those with no sense of shame would go to see such an appalling display of abnormality.' Phillip knew the risk he was taking, but was too intrigued by the rumors not to go. Sitting in the audience, Phillip had watched as the faces of those next to him lit up with enjoyment. He resented that his plays would never have the same effect. Not that people didn't enjoy his plays it was clear that they did by the number of times his shows had sold out,but his plays never left those watching with a feeling of wonder like the circus did.  
But now he was part of the magic and he loved every second of it.  
     Phillip had removed all the clothing from his torso and reached to undo the his pants when he heard an "Ahem" from the corner of the darkened room. Phillip was startled by the unexpected noise that meant he wasn't alone. He grabbed his shirt from where he had laid it across a chair no less than three seconds ago and hugged it to his chest to cover himself. The lamp that sat on top of his desk flickered to life. Phillip resembled a deer caught in headlights. His eyes were wide and his head snapped towards the light.   
     "Don't mind me."a familiar voice purred. Behind the desk sat a heavily inebriated Barnum.  
     "Phineas what the hell are you doing?"  
      "Well isn't it obvious I'm enjoying the show. He said with a wink. His eyes were glassy from the alcohol and his speech was slightly slurred,but he was just as smooth with his words when under the influence.  
Phineas' words caused Phillip to blush. The man was drunk and obviously not aware of what he was saying nor did they have any meaning behind them he thought ,but damn him that one sentence would be enough to keep him up all night.  
     "Phineas you're drunk." "Quite."  
It was clear to Phillip that he was not going to get anywhere with his partner while he was in this state. He figured that he should get him home. The Barnum's residence was a bit too far for Phillip to cart around an intoxicated Phineas by himself and everyone else had already gone home. Phillip knew the sensible thing to do would be to bring Phineas to his place because of its proximity,but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle it. Phillip mentally berated himself. Now is not the time to be flustered over a silly crush. This man is your friend and he needs your help so get a grip.   
     He needed to finish changing first,but that wasn't going to happen here. It was ironic he thought he'd fantasized about undressing in front of Phineas countless of times, but now he desperately wanted to avoid the situation.   
    "You stay here and don't move." He said firmly as if he were speaking to a child. A child would be easier to handle Phillip thought amusedly.  
    "Yes sir."Phineas responded while saluting him.  
Phillip grabbed the rest of his clothes and rapidly changed outside of the office.   
     "PHILLIP!" Phineas wildly began to shout.   
     "Great, I was gone for two seconds what the hell has he gotten himself into now."Phillip muttered to himself. Phillip opened the door not sure what to expec, but he knew it was going to be ridiculous. In the middle of their office stood Phineas on one leg balancing a pen on his nose. The man looked like he could barely stand. Phillip couldn't fathom how he had managed to balance himself like that.  
     "Look im amazing. Aren't I amazing Phillip?"  
Phillip was at a lose for words and simply nodded. He had just wanted to go home tonight and pass out why does he always get himself into these situations be thought.  
     "This is extraordinary,we should add it to the show!"Phineas said pridefully. Phillip gave an exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. Phineas took the pencil off his nose and walked over to Phillip. He put his hands on Phillip's shoulders and crouched to match his height.  
     "Phillip you don't have to be upset. There's lots of untalented people you're not alone."he said softly while patting Phillips cheek.  
Phillip groaned and laughed simultaneously.   
     "What am I going to do with you?" he asked rhetorically,but Phineas answered anyway. "I could think of a few."he whispered seductively and wiggled his eyebrows.Phillip flushed and cleared his throat.    "Come on I'm going to take you back to my place for tonight." He instantly regretted his choice of words when Phineas grinned.  
     "Oh really wel-"  
     "Shush." Phillip interrupted before the older man could make another lewd comment.  
Phillip wrapped an arm around Phineas' waist. Just in case he needed help he told himself and definitely not because the feeling of the other man pressed up against him made his chest tighten and heart flutter. Phillip was positive he was going to regret this in the morning,but nevertheless he lead Phineas towards his apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I just wanted to thank those of you who left kudos I appreciate it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

Phineas' throat burned and he felt like someone had smashed his head in between a pair of symbols. His joints screamed in protest as he slowly sat up. This was by far the worst hangover he'd had in a long time. It took him a few minutes before he realized that he had no idea where he was. Panic began to set in as he also realized that he had no recollection whatsoever of the previous night. He scanned the room for a clue to where he had wound up.  
     The room was small and neat. There were no pictures displayed he noted dismayingly, that would have been helpful. The room was spotless and appeared untouched it looked as if nobody lived there. He started to think that he somehow stumbled into a vacant apartment when he heard the faint sound of water running. Somebody was in the shower. Shit, he thought. He obviously stayed here with somebody last night. He didn't dare consider the possibility that he had slept with somebody. Sober or not that was unacceptable and he would never forgive himself. If only he could remember what had happened last night. He sighed and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. He thought about slipping out quietly while whoever he was here with was in the shower, but not only would that be terribly rude of him; he needed to know for sure that nothing had happened between him and this person. He'd just have to wait for them to get out of the shower.  
     Phillip rinsed the last of the shampoo out of his hair and reached to turn the water off. Last night had been interesting, to say the least. Phillip and Phineas had stumbled in through Phillip's door around one o'clock in the morning. Phillip had assumed that Phineas would pass out not long after they got inside due to the amount of alcohol the man had consumed. Oh, how wrong he had been. Phineas had been like a child high on a sugar rush. He talked animatedly about his new ideas for circus acts for hours and made sure to demonstrate each one. After sharing his plans he decided to perform an impromptu concert solely for Phillip. On top of all of that Phillip had to endure Phineas constantly flirting with him throughout the entire night. Phillip blushed at the memory of the older man's obscene comments. He knew that the older man hadn't meant it, but deep down an ember of hope glowed in the fire of his heart.   
     Phillip figured that Phineas would still be out cold and expected him to be for at least another hour or so. If he hadn't slept in an armchair all night he probably would be fast asleep right now as well. He secured a towel around his waist and opened the bathroom door. Steam flooded outward as he stepped out into the hallway. The cool air contrasted with the warm air that he had been submerged in seconds before. He felt his skin begin to prickle with goosebumps. He walked down the hallway and entered his bedroom.  
     Phineas had been expecting a few things, but a half-naked Phillip Carlyle was certainly not among them.  
     "Phillip?" he blurted out in surprise. Phillip turned to face him with a matching expression of shock. Phineas' heart wrenched as he looked at the gorgeous man in front of him. He could have been sculpted by the gods he thought. Every line was sharp and symmetrical. His body was in peak physical condition and he was covered in glistening water droplets from the shower.  
     "Oh...I um I d-didn't think you'd be awake yet."Phillip stammered.  
     He cleared his throat and regained his composure. "I'm just going to grab some clothes," he said this time more calmly. Inside Phillip was freaking out he thought that he would have more time before he had to face Phineas and now here he comes waltzing in there half naked! He was mortified, but tried not to let his face show his true emotions. He had gotten quite good at concealing how he felt around the older man and had no trouble playing it cool. He opened the door to his closet and picked out a casual outfit it was Sunday which meant he had the day off. "If you'll excuse me I'm going to go get dressed," he said still pretending to be calm.  
     "Not to be rude Phillip, but what the hell am I doing in your apartment?" Phineas asked genuinely confused. He was slightly more relaxed now that he knew where he was and who he was with, but he was still concerned about the events of last night. He had gone back to their office after being mesmerized by Phillip's performance. Realizing that he was in love with Phillip had been too much to deal with at the time. His plan was to have one drink to soothe the turbulence that had started building within him, but one drink lead to the next and so on and so forth. Phineas didn't remember anything past his tenth drink.  
     Phillip's eyes widened."You mean you don't remember?" he asked.  
     "I'm afraid not," Phineas replied. His concern was growing stronger by the minute. Had he actually slept with Phillip or was he just making absurd assumptions? Phillip was still mulling over the news that Phineas didn't remember his unabashed flirting and wild behavior when he noticed Phineas struggling to say something.   
     "Phillip...did we...what I mean to say is did um.."Phineas managed to get out. It was odd to see Phineas stumble over his words usually the man could string together words effortlessly and suave sentences rolled off his tongue with ease. Phillip wasn't quite sure what he was trying to say and raised his eyebrows in confusion. Bewildered by his partner's behavior he sat down beside him on the bed.  
     Phineas took a deep breathe and let the words fly out."Phillipdidwehappentohavesexlastnight."  
    "I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that," Phillip said disbelieving what he had heard. His cheeks warmed as Phineas repeated the question once more.  
     "Did we sleep together last night?"Phineas repeated while averting the younger man's eyes.  
     "What? No, stop kidding around Phin it's too early for your nonsense."Phillip replied and chuckled nervously.   
     Phineas burst out laughing. He actually thought that he and Phillip might have done something. That was ridiculous of course. Phillip doesn't feel that way for him how could he be so ignorant. His sides ached from laughing, but he felt so relieved that he didn't care. Although he'd be lying if he said that there wasn't a little part of him that would have been satisfied to have had Phillip in that way, that however was something to think about later.   
     Phillip loved to watch Phineas laugh. He always looked so carefree and light when he laughed. He had the type of laugh that made everyone else join in with him.  
He had no idea that Phineas was being serious and thought that he was just teasing him again.  
Phineas' laughter died out and he raised his head and met Phillip's eyes with his own. Time seemed to slow down for those few seconds. Neither had realized how close their faces had come to one another's until Phineas absentmindedly brushed a strand of Phillip's hair behind his ear. Phillip was suddenly aware of their close proximity, but couldn't bring himself to move away. Being this close to Phineas was intoxicating. He could see every detail of his handsome face clearly. When Phineas' eyes glanced down at Phillip's parted lips it took every ounce of self-restraint he had not to close the gap between them. Charity, Charity, Charity, Charity he repeated in his head. His mantra was interrupted by soft mumbling.  
     "Hmm?" Phillip asked. He wasn't sure how long he'd been out of it.  
     "I said as much as I appreciate the view weren't you going to go get changed," Phineas whispered teasingly.  
     Phillip looked down at his bare chest and turned red. He scooched away from Phineas so fast that he nearly fell off the bed.  
     "Yes, right I'll go get dressed," Phillip said embarrassedly. Phineas chuckled as he watched Phillip dash towards the bathroom.  
     After Phillip returned fully clothed Phineas still had no idea how he ended up in Phillip's apartment. Phillip gladly launched into the story of how he found Phineas drunk and delirious in their office. He told him that he decided it was best if he stayed here for the night. He made sure to leave out the part about Phineas' unabashed flirting.  
     "Oh god, I can't believe I really did all that. I'm terribly sorry you had to put up with me," Phineas said with chagrin.  
     "It was my pleasure. I would never have witnessed the amazing pencil balancing act otherwise."Phillip remarked teasingly and for once Phineas was the one flushing with embarrassment.


	6. Chapter 6

Phineas was dreading the conversation he knew he must have with Charity. Phillip had offered to accompany him on his way home, but he politely declined; he needed time to think. Dark clouds frowned down from the sky casting shadows everywhere he went. The people he passed on the street turned their noses up at him in disgust. Phineas knew what he must look like, but he was used to scathing and judgmental looks and paid no mind to it. 

Charity must be terribly worried and not mention angry he thought. He flushed with shame. How could he do something so insensitive and careless? He hadn't meant for things to get so out of hand. It wasn't long before he stood in front of his home's elegant iron gate, gathering his courage before facing his wife. He walked tentatively up the stone steps and towards the door. He considered knocking at first but then decided that that would be ridiculous this was his house too after all. He had made a mistake surely charity wouldn't be too upset once he explained what had happened. Phineas pushed the doors opened and stepped inside. The house felt empty and desolate. 

"Charity!" He called out. He started to feel uneasy when there was no reply. Immediately thoughts of her leaving again raced through his mind. No, she wouldn't. She couldn't he'd just got her and the girls back after the Jenny Lind incident. Phineas ran swiftly up the stairs and checked every room of the large estate calling the names of his wife and children every few seconds. 

He began to fear that he'd lost them for good this time. He slumped down against the dresser in their shared bedroom. Phineas closed his eyes and sighed. He felt hot tears streak down his cheeks, but he didn't care. He was much too tired to care about anything at the moment. He was furious with himself. He felt like he had a self-destruct button that he continuously pushed. How many times am I going ruin my life he thought.

"Phin."Charity said breathlessly. Phineas snapped his head towards the door frame where his wife stood. He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there, but the aching in his joints indicated it had been awhile. He searched her face for anger or displeasure, but all he found was concern.

She looked as disheveled as him. Her hair was slightly mussed and there were dark circles underneath her eyes. She rushed over to him and dropped to her knees.

"Thank god, I was so worried. I thought maybe something had happened....I thought that you were d-dead." She stuttered. Her delicate hands raised to cup his face. She ran her thumbs against the prickly stubble that had begun to grow there. Phineas felt even worse seeing how distraught Charity was. He caused her so much pain by being reckless. He pulled her against his chest and held her tightly.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."Phineas whispered earnestly against her hair. He began to rub circles against her back in an attempt to soothe her. He felt her relax underneath the palm of his hand.

"I just figured you were working a little late so I put the girls to bed and went to sleep myself, but I woke up in the middle of the night and you still weren't home. I took the girls to my parents and went looking for you. I checked the circus first and when I saw the state your office was in I feared the worst." she explained. Phineas winced at a vague memory of him tearing apart his office last night. "I thought that maybe one of those protestors had tried to hurt you." she gave a shaky breath before continuing. "Oh God, I'm so glad you're okay. I don't know what I would have done."

"It's okay. I'm fine. I had a bit too much to drink last night after the show and Phillip let me stay at his place." he admitted ashamedly."I'm sorry Char." Charity raised her head and met Phineas' eyes.

"You drank too much and stayed at Phillips." She said. He lowered his head and prepared for the fury that was soon to come. His eyes sprung open and his jaw dropped when he heard Charity's musical laughter. 

"You drank too much and stayed at Phillips," she repeated in between bursts of laughter. This was extremely unexpected. He nodded unsure of what to make of her reaction. His bewildered expression caused Charity to laugh even harder. She replaced the tears on his cheeks with light kisses.

"You're not mad then?" he asked cautiously. She sighed and smiled.

"No, I'm not." Relief washed over him as he pulled her into another embrace. "You must send Phillip my sincerest apology. God only knows what he must have dealt with last night." she teased before falling into another fit of laughter. 

"Yes, Anne he really did say that," Phillip repeated for the third time. Phillip and Anne sat across from each other at his kitchen table.

"I just can't believe he could come up with something so filthy," Anne said while chuckling. "It's just so odd to think of him being sexual. I mean he's basically a man-child."

"God, I know Anne, but he's an incredibly attractive man-child," Phillip said dreamily.

"Ew, you can't use attractive and man-child in the same sentence, Phil" Anne said while pretending to shudder.

Phillip rolled his eyes and picked off a piece of the muffin she was forcing him to eat and tossed it at her. Anne's acrobat reflexes allowed her to dodge the muffin bullet with ease. She stuck her tongue out in return. Phillip couldn't help but laugh at the juvenile act.

"It's killing me, Anne. I want him more than you could ever know. Every cell in my body craves him." he said suddenly serious. Anne knew that he meant every word he said. She took his hand in hers and squeezed.

"Phil I think that he wants you too." Phillip scowled at her words. 

"Come on Phillip why else would he have come on to you throughout the entire night and then think that there was a chance you could have slept together," she said in exasperation.

"Oh, I don't know maybe because he was drunk off his ass," he replied sarcastically.

"Drunk people are often the most honest," she said.

"More like the most delusional." Phillip countered.

"Please."Anne scoffed. "I've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no ones watching."Phillip was caught off guard by her last comment. He considered it for a moment. 

"Even if the feeling was mutual he has a wife and two children whom I care for deeply. There's no way it would ever work out," he said trying to make her see the sensible side of it. She knew that he was trying to hide how much it hurt and wasn't fooled. She could hear the melancholic tone his voice had taken on. Anne shrugged. 

"Maybe, but you never know," she said trying to be optimistic.

"Maybe," he said feigning resignation. Anne knew he didn't mean it. He was far too stubborn and changing his opinion was not easily done, but she could tell that it pained him to talk about and decided to let it go.

Phineas sat alone in his bedroom. He'd told Charity that he had quite the headache due to the hangover and that he needed to rest for a bit. He assumed that she went to get the girls back from her parents because soon after he heard the sounds of a carriage being pulled away.

After a quick shower, he lied down on the expensive mattress in his bedroom. His muscles relaxed as the soft cushiony surface enveloped him. He exhaled and felt all the tension that had been building up since he awoke that morning exit his body. He had been so worried about losing charity that he hadn't had a chance to think about everything that had happened with Phillip. He knew that he could be a bit...coquettish when intoxicated, but the vehemently hoped that he had behaved himself. Although he somehow doubted it.

Thinking back on it Phillip had been acting quite strange. He didn't want to make any assumptions though. He could be overthinking things again. Besides even if he had flirted with him Phillip would most likely chalk it up to him being drunk and delirious. Then again there was what happened this morning. His mind kept going back to that moment they shared while sitting on Phillip's bed. They had been so close. Phineas was heavily tempted to kiss the younger man, but had managed to restrain himself. He had never been so attracted to someone before. He felt guilty, but he had to admit that what he felt for Phillip was stronger than anything he had ever felt with Charity.

The realization that he no longer had romantic feelings toward his wife was crushing. Charity was his best friend and always had been. He would be completely lost without her, but he couldn't deny that his feelings have changed. At night his dreams were filled with blue eyes and taut muscles. Despite the love he had for Charity he had to acknowledge his achingly strong desire for Phillip. Phineas sighed in defeat. There was no denying it any longer he was most definitely in love with Phillip Carlyle. 

His eyelids began to feel heavy and his head drooped to the side. He felt the familiar pull of sleep beckoning him into another world. One where he was allowed to dream freely. His eyelids slid closed as he submitted to sleep.


End file.
